come on england

[pingu]

well after some of the strangest and also hard fought matches over the weekend (sorry marty about allblacks, what is it with them and this comp) also unlucky scots who the argies just shut out of the game

next saturday now sees England versus the French

the french have home advantage but i would love to see this score line again


Come on England !!!!!!!!!

[biggun]

Not a big RA-RA and chariots! fan myself (I prefer the MANS game played up north!) but any chance to put one over on the French is to be welcomed!

COME ON ENGLAND!

[wellyfish]

rugby league for me dave but i like to see the french get stuffed just like we did to them with the round ball ,home and away

[Fishing Forum Admin]

Cannot wait -- going to get so drunk

[fishypaul]

got an aussie at work,he got some s**t today,well done england,now for the frogs

[gullyworm]

Yes indeed Come on England and Hull City and Hull Kingston Rovers

[mithrandir]

Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in a French rugby jersey?

The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.

[mithrandir]

Some blatant plagiarism, jokes nicked from the telegraph

There's a man sitting in the front row at the Rugby World Cup Finals, but amazingly, there's an empty seat beside him. Another man spots it, goes up to him and says: "Do you mind if I sit here?"
"No, not at all," replies the first man. "It's my wife's seat, but she died recently."

"So why didn't you get one of your family to come," asks the second man out of curiosity.

"They're all at the funeral."

***

A rugby referee died and went to heaven.
Stopped by St Peter at the gates he was told that only brave people who had performed heroic deeds and had the courage of their convictions could enter.
If he could describe a situation in his life where he had shown these characteristics, he would be allowed in.

"Well," said the ref, "I was controlling a game between Wales and England in Cardiff.
"Wales were two points ahead with a minute to go. Ben Cohen made a break, passed inside to Martin Johnson. Johnson was driven on by his forwards, before he passed out to Lawrence Dallaglio who went over in the corner.

"But Dallaglio dropped the ball before he could ground it. As England were clearly the better side all game, I ruled that he had got it down and awarded the try."

"Ok, that was fairly brave of you, but I will have to check it in the book," said Peter, before disappearing to look it up.

When he came back he said: "Sorry, there's no record of this. Can you help me to trace it? When did all this happen?"

The ref looked at his watch and replied: "Forty-five seconds ago."

***

Martin Johnson, Richard Hill and Johnny Wilkinson are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says, "before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in."

Addressing Johnson first he asks, "what do you believe?" Johnson looks God in the eye and states passionately, "I believe Rugby to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people from the grim North to the bright lights of Twickenham. I have devoted my life to bring such joy to people who stood on the terraces supporting their club."

God looks up and offers Johnson the seat to his left. He then turns to Hill, "and you, Dicky, what do you believe?" Hill stands tall and proud, "I believe courage, honour and passion are the fundamentals to life and I've spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these traits."

God, moved by the passion of the speech offers Hill the seat to his right. Finally, he turns to Wilkinson, "and you, Johnny, what do you believe?" "I believe..." says Wilkinson "...you're sitting in my seat."

***

A rugby player from Cardiff is having a quiet drink in a Sydney Bar. He leans over to the big guy next to him and says, "Do you want to hear an Aussie joke?". The big guy replies, "Well mate, before you tell that joke you should know something: I'm six feet tall, 105kgs and I'm a Wallaby forward. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 115kgs and he's an ex-Wallaby. Next to him is a bloke who's 6'5" weighs 120kgs and he's a current Wallaby second-rower. Now, do you still want to tell that Aussie joke?".

The Welshman says, "Nah..... not if I'm going to have to explain it three times".

***

Travelling in a train were a Wallaby, an All Black, a spectacular looking blonde and an older lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel the Wallaby had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

(1) The blonde thought - "That horrible Wallaby wanted to touch me and by mistake he must have put his hand on the lady, who in turn must have slapped his face."

(2) The older lady thought - "This dirty Wallaby laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him."

(3) The Wallaby thought - "That All Black put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me."

(4) The All Black thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that stupid Wallaby again."

***

Snow White returned to the cottage to find it had burned down. Distraught, she searches for the dwarfs in the forest and hears a lone voice chanting, "South Africa for the World Cup, South Africa for the World Cup, South Africa for the World Cup." On hearing this, Snow White gave a little sigh of relief as she knew that at least Dopey was safe.

***

In 1983 three kids were playing in the street in Sydney when they were hit by a train. They all go to heaven and God says to them, "You weren't supposed to die, you were all supposed to live out your lives. This was not your time. To make it up to you, I'll let you choose what you want to do with your life. Take a running jump off of that cloud over there, and as you're flying back down to Earth, shout out what you want to do. And so it shall be."

The 1st kid takes a running leap and shouts "Lawyer" and so, 20 years later, he is a very successful lawyer, making lots of money, with an upcoming appointment to the Bench.

The 2nd kid takes his turn and shouts "brain surgeon" and so, 20 years later, he is the most admired man in his field of medicine and making a ton of money saving lives.
The 3rd kid goes to take his turn, and as he runs he trips over his own feet and stumbles of the cloud muttering "stupid clumsy idiot." Twenty years later, he's playing the back line for the Wallabies.

***

The Wallabies rugby practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.

The head coach immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, investigating forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the try line. Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.


***

A seven year old South African boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama today when he challenged a Pretoria Supreme Court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge awarded custody to his sole aunt. The boy protested that his aunt beat him more than his parents and refused to live there. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents the boy claimed that they beat him more than anyone.

The judge dramatically allowed the boy to choose who should have custody of him.
Custody was today granted to the Springboks Rugby team, as the boy firmly believes they are not capable of beating anyone.

***

Q. What do you call 15 guys sitting around the T.V watching the Rugby World Cup final?
A. The All Blacks

***

An Australian player went to the doctor and said: "I've just been playing rugby and when I got back I found that when I touched my legs, arms, head, tummy - everywhere - it really hurt."
The doctor replied: "You've broken your finger."

***

The Australian coach takes the Wallabies out for training and tells everyone to assume their normal position. So they all go and stand behind the goalposts and wait for the conversion.

[fishypaul]

love it,where's the french gags ?

[the boss]

said before but always worth another go............COME ON ENGLAND!!!!