Tip of the day,shuffleing for Weeverfish

[Greenheart]

In years gone by this was once a common sight at the mouth of the river tyne. The technique is very simple. First remove your shoes or boots (Socks may be left on if the weather is very cold) & Roll you trousers up above knee level. A hankerchief knotted at each corner should be placed upon the head. Other anglers will then assume that you are a professional . In windy conditions, a 6oz griplead can be tied at each corner to stop it blowing away. Walk into the water until about knee deep & proceed to shuffle the feet in a similar motion to the sixties dance, known as the twist. the wearing of an MP3 player playing suitable music may assist you in getting the right rhythum. Hopefully this will immediately attract any Weever fish that may be in the area. An application of Boots athlete's foot powder may add to the attraction, as it contains a powerful chemical, very similar to the sexual hormones of the female fish. Continue with this technique at various speeds until a sharp stinging sensation is felt in the sole of the foot. This will give warning that you have attracted the interest of the male fish. Carefully place your hand under the belly of the fish & caress it's tender parts until the fish is aroused. Then take a large empty Newcastle brown ale bottle & carefully place it in front of the fish using a seductive technique. These bottles can be obtained in the vicinity of the Newcastle united football ground. Indeed they will often be donated free & with great gusto to anyone wearing a Manchester united club shirt in the ground . Old time Weever fishermen may often still be seen sitting in shop doorways in the city centre still clutching their lucky bottle. Once you have put your bottle in to the water, wait for the aroused fish to start seeking a suitable lovenest. This should not take too long once the fish gets a sniff of stale brown ale said by many connisours to smell like a female Weever fish. With luck it will swim straight into the bottle & on particularly productive days may even be followed by several excited females. This tip was kindly given to me by John Prescott MP who obtained it from the Labour party archive of good ideas. Indeed I believe he still has his lucky bottle & was seen employing this method of Weever fishing during a lull at the last party conference.

[pingu]

you been smoking the seaweed again GH ;-)
LOL

[Charter Skipper]

Barking Mad....LMAO